[forwards4all] Cool meanings

.   Cool meanings     Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other. *********** Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test. *********** Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master *********** Divorce: Future tense of marriage *********** Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either. *********** Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. *********** Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. *********** Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine waterpower.. . *********** Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage. *********** Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on. *********** Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before. *********** Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read. *********** Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight. *********** Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. *********** Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. *********** Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. *********** Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. *********** Experience : The name men give to their mistakes. *********** Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions. *********** Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead. *********** Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. *********** Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river. *********** Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet. *********** Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY *********** Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich. *********** Father: A banker provided by nature. *********** Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... Except that he got caught. *********** Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. *********** Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after. *********** Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills . ***********